Everyone seems to like the idea of leadership and everyone claims to be leaders in their own right. Growing up I struggled with the idea of leadership and I remember thinking that they have so much courage putting themselves out there to be judged by people who can’t do what they do. I continued to study and found that it doesn’t matter the leaders effectiveness or style because others always find something to point out as a flaw or weakness.
In my experience as a leader I have not been able to escape this burden or these judgements. I have stood in the door and made room for many others to come through only to find on the other side of the door for folks to turn their backs or express ultimatums. Then I sit with my thoughts and go back an forth fighting with myself. I ask myself, “Why do you want to empower others before you have what you need?”, and my answer is because it needs to be done and these are the skills that i posses and it would go against the idea of the Beloved Community if I don’t. I also do this because it was done for me and I owe it to those who came before me.
The only partnership I believe will always be there is my relationship to my God. I am striving to be a better human being but will never strive to be more like any of you. I seek acceptance from above not from the horizontal plane. I accept the suffering without retaliation for the sake of the cause to achieve the goal to the best of my current ability and if I don’t live up to your expectation sorry but your not my goal or the judge I am seeking and awaiting your decision/verdict.
I embrace the judgements and will continue to improve at my fastest pace. Leadership is not easy but it is necessary to move us beyond our past order of business.
Jonathan L. Lewis